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Recently I have begun to realize that
being who I am isn't all that bad. Call it
self-discovery or just finally allowing myself to rise above
all the b.s. that life was throwing me. The roles that
life threw at me no longer felt comfortable and the masks I
had to wear to play the roles became too confining...too
restricting. And at times, too painful.
So guess what? I took them
off. I shattered them so that wearing them again would
never be an option. With each mask I took off, a little
more of Steve Harper started to shine through until the
evidence of the old actor was no where in sight.
I felt free. I felt
liberated. I also felt a little bit scared. After
all, some of these masks and the roles that go with them had
been with me a long, long time. It was all that I
knew.
Life has a sneaky way of lulling us
into an appreciation of the familiar. We get too
comfortable and used to the way things are and rather than
challenge whether that is the way it is supposed to be, we
accept it. Some accept it as the "way it is" until they
take their last dying breath.
I say screw that. Life isn't
going to define me. I am going to define life. And
ultimately make it the way I want and need it to be. I
will no longer accept the roles that aren't of my choosing and
this actor isn't acting through life anymore.
Nope! I am playing in an arena full of awesome potential
and uncompromising opportunity and here's the best part...the
role is the life of Steve Harper and no costumes or masks
required. Just me.
What masks do you find yourself
wearing? Is the mask of insecurity one you wear a
lot? That one was one of my best fitting ones. I
worried about how I looked, what I said, where I was going in
life, whether I was good enough. Why on Earth would the
world want to hear what I had to say. The mask grew
tighter and dug into the side of my face like it was becoming
part of me. The mask of insecurity became so attached to
my face and my internal psyche that it began to control what I
would and wouldn't do; who I would or wouldn't reach out
to. What crap!
Perhaps you know these kinds of
masks. Whether its over your looks, your confidence at
work, your willingness to go buy that new house, move across
the country or simply allow yourself to be happy. The
masks have a funny way of keeping us down, forcing us to play
the roles that they demand we play.
The first way to break the vicious
cycle is to quit going back to re-read your same old lines,
take the same old cues and allow the mask to come near your
face in the first place. You must be willing to take
that mask off and throw it down and shatter it! Mangle
it so you never have to wear it again. Stomp on
it. Spit on it and say NO MORE!
Don't get me wrong, it takes
time. It's a process. But whether you are trying
to overcome self-doubt, insecurity about your skills and
abilities, needing to break free of an unhealthy relationship
or attempting to beat drugs or alcohol, you can do it.
Take the time, put in the effort and don't replace one mask
with another. Let the whole world see you for who you
are and in the process, discover the amazing potential your
journey in this life has in store for you.
The next act of your life's play is
about to begin. It's just you on stage and the audience
is already giving you a standing
ovation.
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